There's A Girl Inside My Head
Kayla Carter

There's a girl inside my head. She's not very pleasant sometimes, but most days, She's the best friend I could ever have. She tends to get angered easily, but it's okay because it's about important things. She snaps and yells when I eat the wrong foods. No chocolate, no cake, no pie, no ice cream. No, none of that is for you. She's just watching out for me. I like having Her there. No sugary foods or grease-filled things for you. Let the fat ones have that. You take the good stuff. Veggies are always a good choice, She never yells at me over those.

She keeps me motivated, too. I have an exercise plan that I'm supposed to be sticking to. Sometimes, if I have a bad day, I won't feel like doing any of it, but She yells at me, reminds me that if I put if off today, I'll do the same thing tomorrow and the next day and the next and so on until I've quit altogether. And We can't let that happen. If I slack on my exercise, I'll get fat again; I don't want that and She won't have it.

None of my other friends know about Her. I think they might think of me as crazy if I told them about Her, actually. So, I keep Her a secret. But that's kind of the nice thing about Her. She's this big secret that I have, all completely to myself. One of the best things about Her is that She's always with me, no matter what I'm doing, where I'm going, or who I'm with.

She can get me out of situations I don't think I could get myself out of; the really big food situations. The ones where I can't avoid eating without looking suspicious. She helps me. She says to push food around on my plate or to simply get very small portions of only good things like vegetables and things like that. And if it comes down to it and I just can't avoid it, eat like everyone else. She reminds me I can always make up for it later in the bathroom and at the gym.

She's the perfect companion. A small, discreet secret I carry with me everywhere I go. She's a wonderful motivator, a constant reminder, sometimes even a great distraction to just keep my mind off things. She's perfect. And I keep hoping that if I follow all the things She tells me, I can be perfect one day, too.